the sky glows. i see it shining with my eyes closed

dont you see who is around you. you dont see who cares. no, you do, maybe maybe. im writing from my stream of consciousness, so. do you appreciate. its ok if you dont, it will make the fading easier. when i leave, i will miss everyone so much more than they could possibly miss me

awkward

last words

I watch my yellow cat invade my red cat in the yard

california

how did this happen

you must be crazy, your just lying

eyes for seeing

i was going to blog about something that made me feel less than happy
but i think, thinking that way can only make me feel crappy when i don't have to be

its not like it really matters, if i want to be a good person truly, i shouldn't need to get noticed or appreciated for it. it just shows me a little more of myself. usually when you do something selfless no one will notice, not to say that I act selflessly at all. Ha, i surely dont act selflessly. Most things i do are for my personal benefit but for all those people are selfless, i envy you, can't i learn to be more like you

think, how many people do you know that are selfless and get a lot of praise for it. its very few, because when your selfless, no one really notices.

.. when i did a little good, i was hoping for a little bit back, but thats not what i should look for in life, a little bit back

job

i spoke once but i have no answer, twice, but i will say no more

i dont remember

blogging last night, i really dont remember writing that, hahaha well kinda but not really

its better

look at both ends, a tail or a head, no difference

First time all year

i woke up smiling

and just like that

the battery died

there are more 1000 words to describe a feeling, and sometimes there are no words to describe another, isn't it odd how it works that way. this week went by fast, lately when i go to next class i think to myself "this class really isnt that bad, why do you hate it so much" and it makes it feel so much better, like school isn't so bad. It feels bad though, at night, when i know i need to wake up the next morning haha.

im actually glad now, that im going to california in two weeks. its weird, i've honestly never "missed" my brother, i've felt guilty about it but its just how i didnt feel. But now im really excited to see him, we dont talk much but i get him. Sometimes he's called just to talk, cause he's alone on the other side of the country, its actually nice, to get to talk with your brother. He's been on a 6 month cruise so i haven't talked to him for a while, and i.. miss him haha its different


dun dun dun dun i hear music in my head, this month will be good

my dream

they were all laughing, a bunch of old ladys i worked with, cause my alarm went off

they said "hahah look, hes waking up cause he set his alarm!"

Or something or Other

-i've never felt completely in place before
-music can brighten a day
-i remember what it was like to meet a whole bunch of new people and loving hanging out with them
-sometimes when i watch someone act so bitterly it actually makes me feel a tad bit sick in the stomach
-"and i'll be holding all the tickets, and you'll be holding all the fines"
-square, triangle, X, O
-my my my, my my my, myyy my
-i can remember the last time i dropped a full doo doo in my pants and what it felt like
-a smile can brighten a day
-today was ok
-i dont like band class much
-i actually didnt go to the gym today, or the day before or the day before that, actually not since Wednesday i think
have you ever had a dream that everyone you knew died, and you were all alone
-"land locked blues"
-i like cute things, but i dont like being it
-ever since i was little and i learned what sin was, i've had this thought in my mind "im terrible, im a sinner, im the worst kind of person and i cant stop it"
-i wish i could solve your problems, but you dont even know that i know.. the only reason that im interested is because, it believe, the way you think is very similar to the way i do
-"and there is kids playing guns in the street, and ones pointing his tree branch at me"
-i respect you more than any other person now, its funny i used to think you were a terrible person, nearly ashamed. You show me of what it means to be a true man
-"if you love something give it away?"
-you had always made me believe a biased opinion
-i like people, a lot
-i respect you greatly, your not always right, but i understand you and think that your one of the most honest people i know
-you dont see who cares about you most
-cranberry stew pops
-every sin is counted equally
-its funny
-"I BELIEVE KINGDOM HEARTS IS LIGHT!"... or something to that extent
-whats with confusion in the world, its all really simple truly
-i've said a lot of stupid things in my lifetime
-you know, i used to be funny.. i promise i really was
-what makes a man alive, is it his blood or his breath. its really nothing of a physical sort
-i dont understand, why you would pray to mary, or saints, isn't that blasphemy of some sort?
-"in your head, in your head, zombie, zombie, zombie eh eh"
-is someone with rabies and leprosy technically a zombie?
-im about to do my first out of school photoshop job for someone else.. aw fail, nothing for me to do, just some easy advice
- nghias wompzilla came out nice
-all this photoshop business has become a hassle

hehehehe

one is not like the others

one is different, or maybe a few

Six Flags

nope, im at teh vinces house waiting for bomban-a-tan to get ready so we can go hang out with jor.

forget senior trips im watching mean girls tonight baby

wahh

im out of ff, out of mgs.. fallout?

Noo, whyy?

im sorry, i did everything i could.. and you are now asking me not too..

awww gym baby

peanuts making me feel gooood, makin me feel flooo-rida
i feel like today was a success, though, i didnt do a thing at all

i guess i did, but overall it was boring, but now i feel like i had a great day, dont know why

things i did today:
-hated school
-officially "wompzilla"d nghias car
- voted for isiah
-got my hard copy license
- beat mgs4
- gym with kirb kirb jabu jabu dan dan

Rex vs. Ray

i think im going to start showering at night, and waking up later in the morning
i really want to get a car, just so i can support myself more than i am now

Nghia

is a grown ass man

Yeeah son

i really want to change my schedule, so maybe i get 2nd block math and i'll have maybe 3rd block english(it would be great to get another english class) and then early release 4th

i would honestly feel bad for leaving rianne and Janelle in that lunch but oh well hahaha

I remember

talking about the first time i met everyone got me feeling weird, in 9th grade i thought everyone was so cool and everyone was so new and fun

i remember..

-meeting kirby in sixth grade and being best friends alone haha
-isiah in 8th grade doing wrestling, and ms copon
-meeting ejay and vince at vbs, me and ejay played a stupid game the first time we hung out, we threw logs at trees hahaha
-tim at youth, he was crazy and hanging out at his house with everyone
-i remember lunch with rianne and kyle and andrew
-i remember the first time i saw andrew with his fohawk haha and me him and kyle would go to a separate table to talk about good looking girls.
-walking to wendys and i remember me and ronnie were talking about wendy then jordyn, and we didnt even realize that jordyn would be a big mistake one day hahahaha.. man
-i remember going to neslys house and laying down and everyone went to sleep cause we all felt like crap but then we played around to bring the mood up
- i remember apics when everyone would gather and mess around
- i remember me nghia kirby and minh would hang out at nghias all the time, mario kart and lan halo with cookie

even now we are creating new memories, i could go on for days but this is all for now

just like that

everyone i was communicating with tonight suddenly went to sleep

im not tired but i guess its my turn to sleep

last night's

atmosphere was really nice

i wish it could be that way foreverZ

ho ho ho colin and ipsen

"Ipsen and his good friend Colin worked at a tavern in Treno. One day, Ipsen got a letter. The letter was so wet from rain that most of the writing was illegible. The only part he could read said 'Come back home.'. Nowadays, we have airships and stuff, but back then, it was really hard to travel. He didn't know why he had to go back, but he got some time off, gathered his things, and set out on his journey home. He walked a thousand leagues through the Mist. Sometimes he was attacked by vicious monsters, but he made it, because his friend Colin was by his side. And then, after much time on the road... He had to ask Colin something:
'Why did you come with me?'.
'Only because I wanted to go with you'."

Wo!

the ending for final fantasy 9 is so good

i think ff9 is my favorite, it trumps all else

character development was great, love story was great, man it was just great mann mannn, what will i do now

Its morning

crap its morning, aghaghaghagahghag i hate school, everything about it EVERYTHING

im feeling good

though today sucked haha i feel gooood though

ok

i want to blog, but, about what haha nothing nothing

i hate sonics really, i dont understand how everyone likes it

uh, what else

nghia left his immobilization notice in my room, and its really bothering me that its here
mannn i cant blog

so

someone edited anthony greens voice, to make it sound low

No no no

crap, i dont want this feeling ahh

i need to just turn on the light and clear my mind, why is no one on tokbox...

"If you love him so much

then why did you marry me"

i NEED

A FF!

doo doo

no final fantasys!

so i am left with two options, get it online

or

heart of darkness?


idkidk

crap

i fell asleep so good haha but i woke up to a call from kim, i was about to go back to sleep but my brother came in and said "hey man, why are you sleeping on the couch, go sleep in your room"
so i went upstairs and he was there with maiya and it took them like 15 minutes to leave, so after a while of trying to go back to sleep, right when i was just dozing off nesly called


...now i cant sleep

I guess i have to post it too

FANTASTIC

Wow

i just got put in my place

im a little bitch

Wow

My brother has really been acting like a little bitch lately

Air War

life is one way, then its another

i hate the feeling that i get, when i think its like... ashdafg i cant organize my thoughts


i sit down and a feeling comes up in my brain, it feels like, the same way it did once in the past. For those few seconds im truly in the past its ludicrous. I hate it, because it makes me feel sad for some reason, like now isnt the same as it was then, and there is no way of changing that and i want THEN so much more than i want NOW. its complicated and confusing

Stayed up all night last night

i didnt even want to though, i was tired as doo doo

Zoom zoom zoom

The idea of weekend sounds nice right now. man, i just slept all day, and now i cant sleep, mann mannn mannnn

Kurds

It must be buried somewhere under the heart, that makes

today, hmm B days, are much better. At least i have someone cool to sit with every block, whether its a good friend or not its much better. Band wont be bad either. I hate peoples reactions when they find out im in band, its annoying. Oceanography will be annoying but funny, Lunch was good but I will get early release. I just found out, if i hadn't left school yesterday i would have had math analysis with Eileen and Rachel and idk someone else i dont remember. It gives me more faith in A days.

went to a new bible study today, was nice. people are starting to mistake me for matt again, its weird, it hasnt been that way since i was a freshman

Its just its just its just

this school year is starting badly, if B days are miraculous maybe i will be saved, maybe, or if i get the opportunity to change my lunch, it can be done, i have a plan.

I truly hate

school

I can't

sleeeeeep! this is what i get for staying up so late at Chris's house

everything i was excited for

just got crushed

Chris James Eaton

i will be going to your house in 2 hours and 30 minutes
i will show up with chocolate and goodies
i will enjoy a very nice bonfire and be happy
yes, very nice indeed

I HAVE TO

poop, really really bad

People

people get mad easy
people dont forgive
people get carried away
people insult and pay no attention to it
people lie
people make mistakes
people twist and turn things
people linger
people are bitter
people love and turn to hate
people judge
people are self righteous
people are arrogant
people are ignorant
people cheat
people break hearts
people are terrible

Can my

brother just finish his movie so i can wither away my night with some final fantasy already goshhhhh

timmmmmmmmme forrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, late night boredom

..which leads to thinking! nooo i dont want to think, no no no. I think thats why i like final fantasy, it keeps my mind away from my mind, if that makes any sense. Sitting in your brain for a while is good sometimes, but to much of anything is bad. I mean, idle hands are the devils playground righttt. I dont know if that saying really applies right now haha. I dont know where im going with this, im just keeping myself preoccupied.

gym tomorrow, yes. me and kirby have been stepping it up lately. kinda, ha, we are at least pushing ourselves to increase on weight and are going regularly now. ohh im getting a call from nesly now goodbye blogger world



..... oh nooo. he just went to sleep and now, im back to this blog hahaha


what to write what to write. The Thing was freaking crazy. when i grow up i want to make a sequel called The Prawn.. hmm i just got writers block, but im not writing a story or anything haha, so i can write about anything, even my writers block ha. mannn is matt done yet, let me check. im hungry as doo doo too too. yes hes done, and so am I, time for peanut butter sandwhiches and ff12

Your problem is, you have no soul

Today is, well, tomorrow will be better than today. I think that if anything is effected by me that its one thing. When i leave, so will you. When im gone, you will be too. You have the power to rip a heart in pieces and im the deciding factor to when it happens. Well maybe its matt too. Probably him, cause i'll be out before him. Before then i think i will just lounge and watch you burn the earth down

Ahhh its to late at night

i spelled guess wrong a couple times i suppose but who cares right? Doodoodoo do doo doo. Im not playing a game with you too show i can get ahead, just like any other, weak man would do when he's losing, looooosing loooooosing..... haaa dum dum deedley dum doo

so they counter girl at golds gym wants my caak
today was the first day i had to drive a bunch of people to a bunch of different homes
folk?
i need to get a car within this week
my body hair is blond as well as my facial hair
im hungry but i dont feel like eating frosted shredded wheat
i need to wake up tomorrow to go fix my schedule and maybe get early release
nyeh will drive me!
Daisydaisydaisydaisy
You are my sunshineee my only sunshinee you make me pissed when skies are clear
im not selling ice cream to you prawn bitch

Mann

I looked at kirbys blog and Aeris's theme was playing, so i left the tab open to read everyones
The song makes every blog seem so heart wrenching, i have immediate sympathy for everyone that blogged sadly, actually, even the happy ones seemed sad because of the music

Good Night

crap

if you can do it, and i cant. I guess its better

Everyone

sounds cooler when there thoughts are written

Hot Liquid Butter

Ah my brother is 0n da damn game!

next step: slay sephiroth, ahhh no, its too much work, cant i just summon my gold chocobo

you can turn anything around to make it apply to real life, for example: Do YOU have a sephiroth in your life, something you must get past in order to complete your goal. Sometimes in your life long journey though, an Aeris or two may die, in times of trouble dont dismay, for she already cast holy. Inspirational. But in reality most people have 6 sephiroths, and it seems every corner they turn they see another Aeris dying, before she cast holy. All you can do is breed a gold chocobo and let knights of the round guide you through it, rely on KOR

Just Moments Ago

i had been laying on my couch...

As i quadra magic knights of the round summoned sephiroth and mimicked it with red XIII i was sure of victroy, in all that had happened i knew it was worth it, for now as one winged angel played and i watched a slow death of sephiroth i knew it was the end. But neigh, there lay a fatal flaw in my plan.. he used Super Nova, and being at the low level of 61 it took everyone to about 200 health. I felt the pressure of defeat close behind me. I wasnt ready to lose though, Omnislash was ready to finish the job that Knights of The Round had not, but no. My vary own vincent was confused, and him being confused he attacked, and having slash all equiped to his materia it would seem that he had attacked my entire team, killing us all..... I lost

Ahhh

If only i had some Find Fand!

You've got no where to go but up

Just Got Home

From work! finally 80 more dollars and more work on the way


Lets do something today goys!

when i was younger

i thought i was lucky because i never had to deal with this. Now i just think it was well hidden from me

I dont know

what to say right now, frustrated


the way school rumble ends... WHHYYYYYYYYY
i always disliked Karasuma, he just, wasnt good in my eyes, and why must i feel sympathy for him, NOOOO, bastard and then tenma spends every second with him, WHYY. Harima whyyyyyy.. why be so noble DDDDDDDDDDDDD:

its not fair

IT NEVER FAILS!

..oh School Rumble, my friend.. in the end i always come back to you

I Have

All the materials
None of the motivation


some people are truly blind, some see everything. I don't know what i am. When i graduate will I be leaving? i think i might join the navy, and leave for 6 years. I wont be back until im 24 it would be goodbye to everything i know. By then what will have happened while i was gone. My friends will be all over the country, or hopefully they could still be around so i can still see them from time to time. My mom will be off somewhere, far from this house, and my dad will be rotting in it, alone. I really hope not. Will I really be different? Will a mature and be a man by then? Will i know where im going in life by then? idk. I'll turn out like my brother. A feeling of complete loneliness, everyone you care about is gone and it is impossible to see them.

Am i blind to the truth or do i see everything. When you see everything, you see things you wish you hadn't

It Seems

The less i think about someone the more they appear in my dreams, and im starting to have dreams again. I didnt dream for like 4 months but i am now. It probably has to do with sleep quality

So

are you confused, i sure am. a few people

-cant you see it too? geuss not
- i wish i could talk to you about this
-this really sucks for you in every aspect
- i really just AGHHAOIGENOIUAWENF

Agh

i've never disliked someone so much, its not an anger that i feel for a short time but goes away after i cool off.. its not anger at all really, i just really dont like you. you are the worst person i know, you say you feel alone, you really deserve it. i dont even understand, how could you, then afterward just go back

Pedro The Lion

agh i just want to give up on normal life and play final fantasy all night

I Feel Like

I'm not comfortable being home. Bored and tired of playing ff7, for the time being at least. Maybe im getting sick, i really hope not

ignored?

if you read this. then.. lets hang out!

Gone For A Lifetime

I felt like i was away for weeks, so long, i haven't been around. It feels like nothing changed, everything is the same as i left it. Seems like no one noticed, no difference.



Empty, Nothingness, Void, what a feeling

I I I I I

I wont be sleeping

Sunshine? Ha

camping tomorrow, away from the computer until tuesday. Got to get ready, already bought my princess sleeping bag, nothings in my way now





EPIPHANY, not yet, but maybe. The realization wasn't so sudden, so technically not an epiphany. So i suppose not yet.

Headache

i want a blizzard
today is so boring
karasuma is an alien
city lights dont exist here
last night was a foggy haze
49 cent cones sound nice right now
hanging out with some friends sounds better
i downloaded final fantasy 7 on my ps3 and psp
2non and kathryn are here, been a long time since i saw them

i did that on purpose if you notice
i will do it again if you notice
if im lucky i'll find it
look its so cool
getting small
smaller
small

YOyoyoyoYOYOYoyoyo

what a happy day in stripeville, at least for some ha.. HOW DARE ALL YOU PEOPLE BE SAD. Today will be good i know it for a fact. If everything goes wrong i dont care it will be good, just because i want it to be.
Agenda:
-Call Kirby for the gym
-.......Enjoy the rest of the day

I Think I Will Explode

Don't understand really.. how does that happen. I had a fear it would really, now its hard to believe. Mannnnn womp womp womp. It never works the way i want it in the end. So confused i don't know what i want anymore.

School Rumble

Karasuma is an alien!


... sike nigga




Tenma is a cat



...sike nigga



The good guy gets the girl



...sike nigga

Well Stay Quiet

"i dont know" perfect words to describe what i've been doing with my life lately. Is anything i've done in the past months been of any meaning, any reason for it all. I think all efforts i've made in any direction have been in vain. I don't know where im headed and for what, my life is entirely at this point, pointless. Am i Mewtwo.. "what is my purpose"

i've been pushing any bad thoughts away lately. if i think badly i immediately dispell the thought and try to obliterate it from my mind. And it works, im not sad, but i think in doing so, im not happy either. I feel angry tonight and for what ha i dont even know but i can just make myself not be mad by pushing it away too, it just leaves me feeling empty. Robot?

today i didnt wear my contacts until about 3 or 4. When i put them on it made me appreciate sight. I saw trees and realized they looked much better with each leaf having its own shape and pavement having texture and water having ripples. The world is a much more beautiful place in the details. In middle school i used to think to myself if i don't wear my glasses i can look at anyone and they will be pretty, because i cant see all the ugly details in their face, no blemishes. But today, i saw how much more beautiful someone can look with every part of them shown clearly, in imperfections and all. It just helped me appreciate my eyes much more.

I Can See Tomatoes

last night, i stay up until 430 with nesly playing resident evil 5 haha we got stuck at that ogre for at least an hour, i honestly feel like doing it myself but its only 930 so naw naw. i had to drive nesly to maymar because his car battery is dead-a-lead. so now im wide awake with about 4 hours of sleep aghagahaha.. not funny, im bored and sleepy but unable to sleep ha

what? you want to know about life.. oh mine specifically at this moment? ok yeah, its great haha i've been in a generally happy mood for the past couple days, and i still believe everyone will epiphany at some point in august.. seems to have started? haha who knows

Is It Really The 7th Already

well i guess its only 4 haha i was thinking i stayed up so long but its not that late really. normally staying up this late would be terrible, its too much time to think, and thinking alone in the darkness usually gets people down, BUT NOT ME haha. its probably because im not in the dark just thinking

so, basically its all good, im happy and glad im up, i spent 4 hours sleeping today from 5 to 9 anyway so i guess im getting it back now. i started playing minus the bear about 3 hours ago, and i didnt repeat one song until about now. I have 48 songs aaha, that adds up to 2.8 hours of playtime.
i cant believe im up this late, i cant believe i finished every minus the bear song i have HAHAHAHAHAAHA goodnight

though im not going to bed yet

oh and, my blog time is messed up, how do i fix that?

Today

WAS THE WORST DAY OF SUMMER

Not Exactly The Words I Wanted To Hear

today was fantastic, though today was the day i didnt expect anything to happen on..

good points of today include : got off work early, played rev5, took the best nap of my life, went to watch a movie with the friends

bad points: ..... idk i cant think of any, besides ONE

i was told the complete opposite of what i wanted to hear. entire counter opposite in every possible way shape or form, but for some reason, it didnt have a mood crushing effect, in the end i went home happy, pleased and satisfied, maybe im so stupid i heard what you said, and just didn't believe any of it hahaha in my brain i just tought, actions speak louder than words.. so i'm right, right

haha no, i think in reality i figured, no use crying over spilled milk right


oh yeah and, i cant find my wallet :(

Vinyl Folds And Aluminum Nails!

today at work, got there at 8 and we ran out of vinyl at 10 haha, so im home now

20 dollars for me hahah easy day at work now time to make the most of the extra time i have been granted... IF EVERYONE WASN'T ASLEEP DDDDDDD=

I Geuss

i'll make one too, just to organize my thoughts i suppose, or i just hop on the hype haha


soo, every day i keep thinking, tomorrow will be a great day

and i plan it all out, and in reality it comes out exactly as planned, with extra surprises that just make it better. In the end of the day though, there is always one thing that didn't happen though, always just one thing, and for some reason it just makes me end the day on a bad note. Just a few words ruin me haha and it makes me forget how good the day was before