"i dont know" perfect words to describe what i've been doing with my life lately. Is anything i've done in the past months been of any meaning, any reason for it all. I think all efforts i've made in any direction have been in vain. I don't know where im headed and for what, my life is entirely at this point, pointless. Am i Mewtwo.. "what is my purpose"
i've been pushing any bad thoughts away lately. if i think badly i immediately dispell the thought and try to obliterate it from my mind. And it works, im not sad, but i think in doing so, im not happy either. I feel angry tonight and for what ha i dont even know but i can just make myself not be mad by pushing it away too, it just leaves me feeling empty. Robot?
today i didnt wear my contacts until about 3 or 4. When i put them on it made me appreciate sight. I saw trees and realized they looked much better with each leaf having its own shape and pavement having texture and water having ripples. The world is a much more beautiful place in the details. In middle school i used to think to myself if i don't wear my glasses i can look at anyone and they will be pretty, because i cant see all the ugly details in their face, no blemishes. But today, i saw how much more beautiful someone can look with every part of them shown clearly, in imperfections and all. It just helped me appreciate my eyes much more.
Monday, August 10, 2009
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